Friendship is one of the most fundamental relationships that make us human. Without friends, we would be lonely, dejected, and incomplete. We all deserve someone who we can count on, through hard times and our best days. However, we all know that finding such is one of the hardest things to do in life. We encounter countless letdowns and endure fights with people we’ve trusted as friends.
There are several qualities that qualify one to be called a friend. It is true that one person may not have all the qualities in the world. However, there are certain attributes that we should look out for in friends. Perhaps, you may need to have more than one best friend. We’ve combined a set of the most desired type of friends that anyone would be happy to have. It is the simple things that matter. They don’t have to be rich, or famous. They just need to be themselves.
10. Friends who build you
When Megan Thee Stallion said “if it ain’t about the money, imam ignore it,” we felt that. It is actually misleading to think that friendships should be all about fun, hanging out, and just passing time. Friends should help each other grow. Any type of friendship that you have should help you achieve a particular purpose in life. It could be having someone as your accountability partner in finishing your master’s degree or you help them get over a bad habit. It should be a two-way kind of growth. If at least one of your friends doesn’t do this, then you have the wrong people in your life.
9. Roast you
Being roasted by your friend doesn’t mean that they do not like you. It also doesn’t mean that they are making fun of your misfortunes. It can be a way of bonding, making you acknowledge your weaknesses and perhaps help you abandon certain harmful things—habits or beliefs—that could be detrimental to your progress in life. If you’ve watched celebrity roasts on Comedy Central, you’ll notice that most of the people who are harsh to each other in a comedic way are actually tight friends. For them, it is a moment of truth. Please do not confuse this with the sarcastic, toxic insults that are disguised as points of correction. Beware of ‘friends’ who throw subliminal jibes at you, which are solely out of jealousy. Anyone who belittles your efforts at being a better person should not be your friend.
8. Take you out
Who doesn’t love a good meal with a friend? It doesn’t have to be a fancy restaurant. It can be a local street food joint or a movie night. In the current times, you need to make sure that authorities allow that (mind the COVID-19 rules). Do not sacrifice your schoolwork or job deadlines for this. If they are true friends, they will understand and make it worthwhile. Use the time to catch up, check on each other, and perhaps share ideas on how to handle things in life. It shouldn’t be a formal conversation though; differentiate meetings with work colleagues and your friend. Avoid talking about work stuff and boring stuff. It should be a fun moment! Also, take your friend out. One quality of goof friendship is reprocity of good gestures.
7. Support your business
This sounds unnecessary but it is important. You may think that it doesn’t have to be a commitment. You need to have a friend who believes in your talent or business. Nowadays most people would rather buy each album that their favorite rapper releases than sharing a poster of their friend’s business. They will watch you struggle to market your business and the moment you ask for their help, they will give you all sorts of excuses. True friends should be able to support or promote each other’s business without being asked. It could be as simple as buying or spreading the word about what you do. It can be the most gratifying thing. Sometimes, our determination and undying spirit in what we do hinges on one close person with a firm belief.
6. Correct you
If your friends are always singing your praise or massaging your ego, you need to think twice. No one is perfect. We all mess up; whether it is at work, school, or simply life missteps. A true friend will call you out on something that you are doing wrong. Fake friends will pamper you all the time, even if you are making a big mistake. They lack the courage to tell you your faults to your face. Rather, they will gossip behind your back. The kind of friend anyone needs is someone who is as brutally honest as possible with the truth. It may bruise your ego or hurt our feelings but will help you to become a better person. Trust us on this!
5. Check on you
We all have so much to deal with. It can be chasing our dreams, looking out for our family, or running a project. All these things put pressure on us; we are all human. From time to time, we need assurance that everything will be okay. If not done, our mental health can be at stake. Besides that, we may fall sick. It could be a minor cold or a severe accident. We need that friend who reaches out to check on you. We also need to be that friend to them and other people. This does not mean that you commit to checking on people who clearly do not want you to associate with them. Perhaps, they have their own guardian angels or simply do not like you. Be careful who you spend your energy on.
4. Compliment you
Who doesn’t like a good, well-intended, genuine compliment? We all love it! So when someone tells you that your hair looks nice and you smile, that’s the most uplifting thing ever. A lot of effort goes into looking great without self-doubt. Consequently, we need someone who goes beyond superficial compliments. Someone who tells that your personality is amazing, “Your future is bright…you work so hard” kind of compliments. This kind of friend makes you feel valued beyond just looks or material ownership. We all need such a wonderful person in our lives.
3. Defend you
Let’s think about this together. You are at a public event and you splash wine on someone by mistake while turning around. The lady is wearing an expensive dress. She pulls you aside and starts lashing out at you for ruining her night. You try to explain how sorry you are and how unintentional it was but she is having none of that. A friend then steps in, offers the lady a backup dress that she has in her car. The offended party gladly accepts since she has no option. There are those friends that defends us even in our absence. Those categories of friends are simply priceless. It is easy for anyone to defend you in your presence. However, defending someone in their absence is simply priceless.
2. Make sacrifices
Someone who explains this perfectly is the popular Kenyan media personality, Andrew Kibe. In a recent show on Citizen TV, the controversial personality explained that he does not have someone whom he can count on for any emergency. He gave the anecdote of how many of your friends would actually stop what they are doing to get you out of jail if you are arrested. Most probably, many would give excuses. They would be like, “I’m just running into a meeting…oh, my car broke and so on…” How many of your friends can help you get out of trouble? If you have at least one, then you are lucky. That’s the kind of a friend that anyone needs. Someone who does not give excuses when you need them the most!
1. Believe in you
In the era of social media, people look for validation online. They think that if their fans approve, then it is a good thing to do or the right way to go. That’s far from being right. The social media lens acts way differently from having a friend who actually cares about you. That friend will be there even if you have the biggest failure in your life. They will hold your hand through the whole process until you regain your momentum. Believe is a strong commitment. When someone trusts and believes in you, it gives you are reason to keep doing your best.
It may be hard to find all of these qualities in one person. It is important to emphasize on this point. However, there are people that will have up to five or more of these attributes. Having them in your life is more than a blessing. Also bear in mind that these attributes can be learned. Therefore, while you look for the best type of friends, also improve yourselves to be that friend that is indispensable.